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I knew I wasn’t allowed to speak without first being spoken too, but even if it was allowed I could never have found the words, in that moment, to express the depth of what I was feeling: the sense of welcome…of acceptance…and more than anything else, of belonging.For that moment alone I thank You, Sir.When some time had passed You gently helped me, with no small reluctance on my part, as I’m sure You know, Sir, to sit up and return to my original kneeling position. I returned my hands to my lap and sat looking up at you, giving you my full and smiling attention.“Very good,” You told me. “This is how you will kneel when you are either serving me or waiting for me. This position, your full attention on me and only me.” You leaned forward and continued, “…Even if I’m not in the room, not in the same building - even if I’m nowhere near at all. When you are waiting for me, you are doing nothing else but waiting for me. Is that understood?”“Yes, Sir,” I replied, nodding to show. Hopefully today Ican actually get some rest. AND plan that holiday!" Using a day off to plan a holiday," Stuart laughs. "Promise you won'ttell Joshua?" My lips are sealed if yours are," I giggle, 'sealing' my lips againstStuart's, before resting my head on his chest and allowing myself totruly relax for the first time in what feels like ages. All thoughts ofbabies, work, Nikki or Stephanie leave my mind as every muscle in my bodyseemingly melts into a puddle of jelly... Only to tense up again secondslater as my phone bleeps to inform me of a new notification."Well, that was a nice 45 seconds," Stuart sighs. "Is it Charlotte?" No," I sigh as I read the text message. "It's Nikki... Asking if I've hada chance to think about something she asked me yesterday." Is she having problems?" Stuart asks. "She still working up the nerve topropose to her girlfriend?" No," I sigh. "One of the girls she's quote-unquote mentoring has been inhospital, she wants to do something to cheer her up...".
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